Why do so many people want to change their lives, but most people don’t?

Tales like Cinderella are very popular for that reason. People dream of better days, of winning the lottery, of being blessed by fate and of course marrying a prince!

Did you ever hear stories of people that won the lottery and ended up broke again after a short period of time? Are we destined to be poor? How much do you have control over your destiny? What do you have to do get ahead?

One key ingredient for positive life changes is having access to good information. Unless you are confronted with new information, you will tend to keep doing the same thing every day. That is why there is so little social mobility; poor people stay poor, rich people stay rich. There is very little chance to hear something different if you hang out with people of your kind.

People go to school to learn to become employees. They spend their lives at jobs they dislike, making less money than they need and hoping to retire rich. Most people fail miserably. This model is not the best one, for sure! If this is your situation, you already know what is waiting for you.

You are probably surrounded by people like yourself. Take a look around. Think about he 5 people you spend the most time with. Are they the type of people you want to become? Would it make you happier to have exactly the same lives that they do?

You are a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do you realize that? You are just like them!

If you want to see changes in your life, you need to change the people that you hang out with. Otherwise, you are bound to keep watching the same movie…

Life gives people opportunities for change, but surprisingly, most people shy away from change. They label change as “scary” or “dangerous”.

This is predictable if you take time to observe how your mind works. Every time your mind is confronted with something new it experiences fear and embarrassment. You are wired to be scared of stuff you’ve never seen. Eating a poisonous fruit you don’t know, could kill you, right? That is what explains that we are always cautious before trying new stuff.

And secondly, you feel embarrassed because you don’t know something. In the ideal world, you would know everything. That’s comfortable. But ignorance makes us feel stupid. And no one enjoys feeling stupid, or do you?

This is why people stay away from change. Because it scares and embarrasses them when it comes. You need to accept your ignorance, you need to be vulnerable, you need to be humble and learn. And when you do something new, you are basically bad at it. We all “suck” at new things! New language, new skill, new sport, new food habits, new anything. Uncomfortable.

Have you heard the expression: “comfort zone”? That is the realm of the stuff you already know. You feel in control when you are surrounded by the stuff and the people you are familiar with. And the comfort zone is a beautiful place where nothing new happens!

Unless you are totally happy with your current situation (congratulations if you are), you are going to feel uncomfortable before you can experience any real improvements. It’s given! You will need to feel stupid and embarrassed and you will have to “suck” at a something until you learn it and master it. And I hear that it takes 10.000 hours to master anything!

If you feel stuck in your life and you are ready for a change, the only way is to seek new information. You need to meet new people. Hear new stuff. Learn about things you don’t know are possible.

You need to upgrade the crowd you mingle with. Look for meetups, workshops, study groups, clubs, associations, etc. that are doing things you want to learn.

Another very effective way is to go to the library and become friends with great thinkers. You can learn new ways from people you don’t meet personally. Books are great for that! Also Google and YouTube among other sources can give access to unlimited new knowledge.

Be prepared to fight your way up! Not from the people that have more than you, but from the people that you are leaving behind! Your family and current friends will probably complain about your “changes”. It will make them uncomfortable! You need to accept that in order to become someone new, you will have to let go of the old.

As a note of hope, the new people you will meet are awesome! And the more you learn and grow, the more you will enjoy life and be proud of yourself!

Put your anti-rejection shields on, enjoy feeling stupid (because it means you are learning), be humble and curious and you can take yourself to unlimited heights.

There is only one condition; never, never, never, never quit!

See you at the top!

 

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